Steven's Pass 3/29/08

Getting down to the wire.
Only a few more weekends until the Pass closes.

Sigh.

Saturday was fun cos almost the whole gang went up. Me, Steve, Bruce, and Don Julio went in one car and Sue, Shelly, and Casey came in the other.
It had snowed again so we headed straight for the backside to help track it up. We were not alone. After a few hours we gave it up and headed to the other side where we found the chicas.

Had a very spirited lunch were we finally got busted for smuggling in alcohol. Our waiter was cool about it, though, and we left him a good tip.


After lunch I resumed trying to kill myself in the park. Accidentally got a lot of air one time. Luckily I froze when I realized I had gone over the wrong bump and I landed it cleanly.

We left early cos I had to run early in the morning and Steve had to ride so we could head up to Whidbey in the afternoon. Bruce was a good sport about it even though it was the last day of night skiing. He was stoked cos he bought some demo skis and a pass for next year so he's almost set.

Just a few more weeks and you won't have to read anymore snowboarding and tequila stories.

Crystal 3/27/08

Finally made it to Crystal Mountain! We have had weekday 2 for 1's this whole season and haven't been able to use them. But a late season dumpage provided the impetus.
Got up Thursday morning and the website was reporting seven inches! Sweet!

Started out at Green Valley but the deep pow will wear you down and crush your will to live. Bailed over to the other side which was perfect cos we could switch from groomers to powder at will. Had some shots of Casador tequila with lunch which gave us some extra courage.

It was sunny most of the day but couldn't see Rainier- just a ginormous cloud were it should be.



By four we were pooped! Cool thing about Crystal, you board down one of the old roads and it leads to the front door of the Snorting Elk. Nice! We went in and watched the Cougars get hammered by UNC until we couldn't take it anymore.
I got chili on my new Cash Camo Pants. Waaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

Easter Dinner 2008

Sue once again hosted Easter Dinner and made her famous ham.

The thought of the ham was what got me out of bed at 8 to go run 12 miles in the rain (after snowboarding the night before and not getting home until 1 a.m.) That and the fact that I absolutely had to get my 12 miles in after harassing and mocking Gina about her run and then her actually doing it! Crazy Bitch!

I made deviled eggs and brussel sprouts. Must have deviled eggs on Easter. Must, must, must. It's a southern thing. You wouldn't understand.
Shelly made broccoli and potatoes and cup cakes (which doubled as Steve's Belated Birthday Cake.)

Then, we played Kazoo. Which is the Humdinger portion of Cranium except with a kazoo. Everyone got off to a slow start but eventually got going (except Josh; finally found something he sucks at) and made fools of ourselves.
(Have you ever tried to do the Macarena on a Kazoo! Holy Fuck!)

Happy Hour at the Grill of Death

Met Sue and Shelly at the Grill of Death on Friday.
We sat two tables away from the table of infamy.

Saw Nick as we walked in. Which meant Gina was on her way. Which meant I really should have bought her a beer for running that morning when I didn't think she would (understatement!) But she was sitting at a table with a bunch of people (while I just had my two friends) and I didn't want to accidentally pay for all those losers' drinks (if her friends are anything like her they're a bunch of fish!)

Anyhoo. I was freaking starving so I woofed down a plate of yam fries and a bacon and blue cheese burger and two gin & tonics! Then immediately got an acute case of indigestion. Naturally I thought it was a abdominal aneurysm. But I got better.

Thankfully, Sue had to zoom off on her scooter to an MRI appointment cos I needed a nap.

Cell Processing 3/19/08 Wrap up

Lots going on in Processing lately.
I'll summarize.

1- When I was trying to take Aida's picture for the blog, she wondered aloud if I was photographing her for the purpose of selling her to the Chinese. What?
Then I thought, "How much could I get? Is there a market for Filipinos?"
I know several.
I asked Chuck how much it would take to part with Lori. He quickly said, "Oh, it would be alot." Then he thought about it and asked, "Could I visit her?"

2- Gina is snowboarding at Baker on Saturday and visiting her vegan Jesus freak sister-in-law on Sunday. Which creates a dilema as to when she is going to do her long training run. Her epiphany: wake up at 5:15 on Friday morning and run 12 miles before work, go to work, the head up to Bellingham.
I thought I was going to pee in my pants!
Chuck bet her lunch that she wouldn't do it so me and him get free slices or free burgers on Friday. Sweet!

"I can already see myself running in my mind."

3- I found an Always maxi-pad on the floor yesterday (unused, BTW.) I was worried that the owner might need it later so I put it on a chair. Olga came in and saw it and asked what the package was. She was appalled that I hadn't thrown it away.
The question of possible ownership took up the better part of the afternoon. It was the Jumbo size (three or four could soak up a small pond) so we eventually figured out that it did indeed belong to Jumbo-Z. Chuck, uniformed in these matters, wondered what all the full about a small manilla envelope was.
Cute.

Speaking of crazy bitches....

Spanky stayed at the Trailer Park Monday night (cozy but he didn't complain) and when he left for work Tuesday morning it was light so I didn't bother locking the door back. I just laid back down.
Big mistake.

Around 7:30 some crazy trailer park bitch just opens the door and comes in yelling, "Teresa? Teresa? Are you here?"
I jump up (in my boxers and a T-shirt) going "WTF!? Get the hell out of here."

Does she say something like, "Holy Fuck! I'm sorry! I thought my friend lived here."

NO! She just stumbles out and starts trying to dial her cell phone.
When I leave to go to work, she is still wandering around the park yelling "Teresa!"

I gave her the evil eye.... for naught. She didn't even recognize me.
Now that's a crazy bitch.

Life in the TP!

Which fucking reminds me.....

Chuck went to Kaui for 10 days!

Everyone knows that if you go to Hawaii, you better bring back some chocolate covered macadamia nuts. It doesn't matter that you can buy them here, it's just common courtesy.

So I assumed (incorrectly) that when he bothered to show up for work again, we would have a nice treat.
I asked him where they were.
He said he didn't bring any. He was even surprised I asked.
Well... I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Chuck is an asshole.
So I went back to work.
Then Olga comes in and asked me did I get any of the chocolate covered macadamia nuts!
WTF!!!!
He lied to me!

I was incensed! I didn't talk to him for hours!
Then I found out that AJ had just come back from Hawaii too. And as clueless as she is, even she knew that if you go to Hawaii you bring back chocolate covered fucking macadamia nuts.

So I go and tell Chuck I'm not mad on him anymore cos I found out that while he is still inconsiderate, he's not a fucking liar.

HE CALLED ME A CRAZY BITCH!
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?!

Now I'm pissed all over again.
Until I remember that bitch is the new black and that's probably what he meant.

Welcome Back Aida!

When anyone else is on vacation, they are lucky if I (or anyone else, for that matter) even know they're gone.
If they work in Cell Processing, their absence might be noted quicker and they will be cursed accordingly.
But when Aida is gone, as she has been for the last two weeks and one day, chaos ensues!
You need at least two people to replace her at any given time.

Bottom Line: I have had to work a lot harder than I like for the last two weeks. And this after Olga was gone for the whole fucking month of February and then Chuck promptly flew off to Kauai!
I forgot what it was like to be able to sit around and blog and whine at my leisure.

Oh yeah, Gina and Debra had to bust their asses doing DNA. The only reason I noticed is cos I need them to finish before I can start my stuff.

Gina even made signs welcoming her back (which Aida immediately took down) and Deb made homemade cinnamon rolls!

"Thanks to God" you came back, Aida!

I'm Not Paranoid - I'm the Voice of Reason.

This is Dana's Guest Blogger. I don't think this is particularly funny but Dana insisted that I post it to the world. Here goes.

It all started one morning after parking my car in the driveway. Marshall and I came back from Central Market and we had been gone for about 45 minutes, tops. I let him out of his car seat and went to the trunk to get the groceries.

That's when I saw this (photo taken after it was brought into the house):




My first thought was, "WTF is this?" and "Who planted the chipmunk right under my tailpipe area when I was away from the house for 45 minutes?". I park in the exact spot every time and I have tire indentations in the gravel to prove it. This furry animal was situated right underneath my trunk area like it was dropped from my car trunk. I swear it was not there when I left 45 minutes ago. As I stared at it lying on the ground I thought it looked familiar. I picked it up and gave it a squeeze - yes it was a squeaky toy. I've seen it's kind before at the pet store.



I started going through scenarios in my head. Perhaps someone parked here while I was gone, opened up their car door/trunk and this thing fell out. Or what if someone planted it there while I was gone and decided to sit in their car and watch my reaction. I had Chippy in my hand and as I thought this I slowly turned around to scan the parked cars across the street. They all looked familiar and I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.


Before I could dwell on the next scenario reality hit.

MAAAaaaa! Wirl! MYYY Wirl!". Marshall got a hold of the chipmunk and would not let go of it. I corrected him and told him it was a chipmunk. "No mum - wirl". Okay, it's a squirrel. Can't argue with a toddler. A new toy from the outside! A child's delight - a mother's horror.

As we went into the house I let him hold it thinking he'd forget about it after lunch. He refused to give it up and fell asleep for 2.5 hours, clutching the toy of unkown origin during the entire course of his afternoon nap.


I told Marc my story and expressed concern that there was a possibility that someone could have planted a listening device in the chipmunk and left it there, knowing that one of us would pick it up and carry it back into the house. I also informed him of the possibility that all of our conversations may be monitored. Oh by the way, in case you've forgotten, this is what the toy looks like:




Marc looked at me with a straight face and told me that I could slice Chippy open, remove the chip and we'd be all for the better. (I actually considered doing that so stop laughing Dana)

As I was telling this story to Dana, she suggested that perhaps someone was walking their dog and that the dog may have dropped it there. I dismissed that as too elementary and simplistic.

Then she suggested putting him in the microwave because that for sure would inactivate any kind of chip that could be embedded in the chipmunk. Brilliant! The girl's a genius. Marc was telling me that people do that to government-issued RF chip drivers licences that they don't want tracked. The microwaving sounded appealing because it was not invasive - I didn't want to have to sew this thing up after the surgery. In the end I declined because I noticed that his whiskers may not make it through the process. Sigh...


Then along came my solution. Bella!





As I was sitting there contemplating Chippy's fate, Bella came along and snatched him out of my hand. She ran up on the couch and started shaking the crap out of him. And she started chewing on his head. I sat there and watched her try to destroy the chipmunk and I started laughing... perhaps I won't need to microwave him after all.




Way to go Bella!