Vivace- Saturday 6/30/07

Nicely isn't here. A chick with bright red hair is taking his place. She's cool, though. I think she is in charge of the music. Patsy Cline was on when I came in. Now bolero somethingorother. Both of the baristas are discussing their hangovers. Kids! They're tough, though. I could not make coffee and be civil to people with a hangover.
They gave me a free americano.
I wonder if they like me, or they do that for everyone, or they feel sorry for me cos I'm fat and dress stupid.
"Aw, there's that chick who's fat and dresses funny and comes in here with her ancient laptop and writes her little blog. It's just so sad I'll make her an americano."

-Went over to Marianne's last night for dinner. Only I didn't eat dinner cos I was stuffed cos I ate dinner at 3:30 when I ordered two dishes from Thai Tom and ate two thirds of each of them. But I sat there and drank fat bastard blush and played with the kittens. The kittens are soooo cute now. They wrestle and jump and fall over and pounce and all that cute kitten stuff.

-My sister was on the 777 in Chicago that rammed another plane. Me and Michelle just always seem to be accidentally creating stupid news. Sometimes I feel like I'm in one long "Three's Company" episode.

-Going on a bike ride to Woodenville with Sue in few hours. It will be sucessfull if there are no trips to Harborview or the dentist after.

-Am reading "A Brief Tour of Consciousness". The author is a doctor or something and he describes strange symptoms some people develop after brain injury and some congenital brain abnormalities. I was really excited when he was describing synethesia where some people always see some numbers as a certain colors and there was a diagram and I saw the different colors and I said "Yay, I'm special!" but then I realized that it was just an example and I was supposed to be able to see the colors. Darn.

-Really had to work hard yesterday which is no way to start the weekend. I rode up the elevator after lunch with this old guy wearing a T-shirt that said "9 out of 10 dentists recommend oral sex"! I'm busting my ass for this guy. I'm all for keeping your sense of humor while you're waiting to die but damn! Tasteless!

-Speaking of tasteless, the sys admin at Josh's work banned my blog due to tasteless/obscence content. WTF!?

A new era

My new laptop is in Sacramento, waiting for the last leg of its journey to me. 120 G, superdrive, 1 G ram, Airport extreme card....the list goes on and on. Then things are going to be different. Like not having to wait until the shift key starts to work so I can log on. Phossy (my current laptop) will always be held in high regard.... in the closet. Probably still watch movies with her and backup photo albums.
A problem, however, occurred to me just now as I got up to use the facilities at Vivace. I'm going to have to wear diapers here from now on cos there's no way I'm getting up and leaving my new laptop for some asshat to swipe and sell on craigslist.

But now I'll be making video clips and I'll be famous and everyone will be saying 'heinous' and complaining about being fat. Aren't you excited!?
I have a cool sticker picked out for it already. Don't have a name. Suggestions?

Day of Reckoning

Today I am going to get a physical to determine if I will be accepted into the garlic pain study. If I am, I going to get myself a refurbished Macbook with 120G harddrive, 1 G of memory and a 6-layer superdrive. I have no idea how a 6 layer drive is any different/better than any other superdrive. Maybe it's just super super super super super super and that's fine with me. So I'm super (X6) excited. I hope they don't discover my heart condition/cancer/personality disorder. Even with all my problems I'm sure I can power through a garlic pain study. Putting your hand in ice water is considered painful? Who knew?! I thought it was called therapy.

Wish me luck. Hope I get a clueless doctor!

Oh you wanna go up there?

Guess I don't look as supercool in my new Mammut jacket as I thought.
There's only so much a jacket can be expected to do, I guess.

It did keep me dry while Steve and I waited out the sprinkley showers up at Pearly Gates in Leavenworth on Sunday.
We got there nice and early. He led a 5.8 pitch with some heavenly name. Then it started hailing. We went around the corner and camped on a big rock and talked about life, the universe, everything, and snowboards until it stopped. Everything dried out pretty quickly and we got back to business. Around 2, he started another 5.8 pitch with another heavenly name, I heard thunder. Only it wasn't thunder. It was a huge fucking avalanche rockfall that mowed down everything in its path including several trees and chewed up the area we had been occupying earlier. After the dust cloud cleared (literally) and we could see and hear each other again. Steve firmly announced that he was going to quickly finish the route and lower off the chains. Someone didn't want us there and we were taking the hint and going to get ice cream.
I had chocolate ice cream with extra cookie dough and he had cake batter ("why would you come here and not have cake batter", he asks) squished together with alot of other stuff.
Then we took out chips and diet cokes and hit the road.

Another exciting day in Icicle Creek.

Ultimate Saturday

Friday night at the BBQ, Josh asked me to check in on Tellie the following day while he was at Vantage.
Lightbulb!
Saturday = The Ultimate Fighter 5 marathon
Josh and Shelly's house = Tivo + cable

Sure! I said.
I got there at eight sharp!
Tellie wasn't super excited about TUF. She was just super excited, as usual. Tellie, being the peace loving ball addict that she is, just couldn't get into it. So I threw the frisbee in the back yard to let the tivo do its thing.

Later, I headed over to Olga's to make sure her baby didn't die while they went to a movie. Mission Accomplished! I didn't have to throw a frisbee even. They kindly recorded the final for me for my hard work. The chi's (a not so peace loving pair) are crazy for ultimate fighting and were just as happy as I was upon watching BJ "the prodigy" Penn try to choke the life out of Jens "Jesus Freak" Pulver. (Always bet on the Hawiian!)
Fuck yeah!

I can't believe it.

-I don't have anything to bitch about.
I had a largish run today but everything worked... the first time.
I'm going to buy a lottery ticket.
So I'm done and I'm going to go home.

-Went climbing at Redmond VW with Nathan last night. Toe is 90%. Saw Spring and Mike. Spring is skinney. Bitch.

-Lots going on this weekend. Happy hour/dinner with Bruce and Steve and BBQ at Josh's tonight (I'm sooo popular!) Tomorrow I am babysitting! Actually, the child will be sleeping and I am there to insure the house does not burn down. But I get to watch the Ultimate Fighter 5 Finale! (Are you wishing you were me, now!?) Then climbing in Leavenworth on Sunday (and this time I'm getting my damn ice cream!)

I'm Supercool!

I rode my bike to work today! Yah for me!
I was a little nervous cos I haven't ridden my bike in a while.
Some tense moments crossing the University bridge- it's kind of like a luge. You're going 30mph over rough pavement very close to two lanes of impatient car traffic and then merging onto the bridge with yet another lane of traffic.
Quite thrilling.
After a $360 tune-up (gee, so glad I listened to Jeff) the bike did feel pretty fast.
Got to work and the bike cage was almost full! Must've been a hundred bikes in there! Us cancer care people, not only do we save lives and advance knowledge, we save the earth as well!

We're supercool!

Josh is Mean.

Even after I suffered all day with my bum big toe, he wouldn't let me get any ice cream before we left. He acted like it was cos he really needed to get home but it was really cos I'm fat.
So in retribution I'm posting a sub optimal picture of him leading The Javelin in Leavenworth. The next picture I took was really fly but I'm not posting that cos I'm still mad about the ice cream (I was going to get the 'I like it' size of "cookie don't you want some.")
Actually, I'm just a retard and wrote the #'s of the pics I actually wanted down wrong. I have the picture after the stellar picture for each one.


Here, for instance, is a picture of Steve looking slightly concerned about having gotten off route on a 5.8 and ending up on a 10c. But I have another picture of him looking really concerned when he realizes this entails traversing on lichen and pulling up on a sandy bench. The expression is exactly halfway between laughing and crying.

I also had a really cute picture of Tellie helping Steve belay Josh up Opening Ceremonies. But I downloaded the one of him looking down and her looking like a black blur with ears.

Not Happy.

It's amazing how much trouble inanimate objects can cause.
Got to work by 6! For naught!
My tubes melted on the thermocylcer (FOR NO REASON) and I had to start all over again at 11! I could've fucking slept till 10!
BSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBS.

Saving lives.... whatever. I want to go home... so I can.....do nothing.

Experiencing Creative Difficulties

There's really nothing going on.
I'm so uninspired I can't even make something up.

I have been watching Sue's Warren Miller movies so I'm jonesing to go boarding which is BAD since we're at least six months out from that.

Football- 2 months out.
Huckleberries - 2 months out.
New laptop- 3 months out.

Living in the future.
Not good.

1) New plan for getting laptop. Pimp myself out for housesitting. Also, joined study to see how garlic suplements affect pain medication. Take garlic for 1 month then go to hospital and take oxycodone. Have my blood taken for 8 hours and intermittently perform cognitive and pain threshold tests (seeing how long I can submerge my hand in icewater and recieving electric shocks). All for $800.

2) Dropped Sue off at airport this morning... at 5:30! to go to a wedding in St. Louis. So now I'm going to break into her house and rearrange stuff and watch TV.

3) Back to laptop. After I've been whining to anyone who'll listen about how much I want a new laptop, both Shelly and Joan go and buy.... (any guesses?!) brand new apple laptops! On the same day! HOOKERS!

Hangin w/ Josh and Joshua

Everything I'm about to say is absolutely true.

So I wasn't really all that productive yesterday.
My trailer still looks like I've been robbed.
The grass in my little yard is leaning over it's so tall.

But, you know, Joshua Redmond is in town and we worked out yesterday at the gym.
I can't really hang out with any one person too long, even super cool jazz musicians. So we went our separate ways and I cruised to the Ave and had some Pho, took a nap, then headed downtown to catch his show at Jazz Alley.

Oh yeah, Sue, Steve, Shelly, and Josh came too since it was his birthday. Our asses started to hurt (my ass is always hurting these days) so we couldn't stay for the second set. I'm sure Joshua understood. We went and had coffee instead. Amazing how challenging it can be to find an open Starbucks in downtown fucking Seattle on Saturday night. That's Bullshit! We made some noise about climbing outside today. A study in group-self-delusion. Even after a dopio macchiato I still couldn't stay awake past 10:30, even to watch videos! Old age is gonna be so natural for me.

"Don't Smart Me.

. . . See, I wanna watch you squirm. I wanna see
you sweat a little. And when you smart me, it
ruins it."

No hints this time.
I still owe Sue from the last movie quote. I wonder when I'll have a chance to buy her a martini. Hmmm.... Bwhahahaha.

Ok, the line isn't going down at Vivace and my ass is starting hurt. Guess I'll stop fucking around and take my ass to the gym. My inner thighs have just stopped hurting where I can walk normally so I've got to fix that.
Then I'm going home and cleaning up the trailer.

I am going to be productive today.

Stop laughing.

I'm serious.

Nicely is Back

Saturday morning at Vivace.
It's been a while, as Nicely pointed out.
I've been housesitting.
He's just returned from back/neck surgery and he's looking lean and mean.

I talk about Nicely like we're tight which we're not. Even though he's everything you want your Vivace barista to be and more, I treat him like I treat all strangers... with awkward detachment. I admire him from afar.
Nicely and I don't share. But here's what I know about Nicely just from sitting for hours on end blogging and stealing music in his presence.
1- He's way fucking cool and beloved by many. While he was gone, everyone asked about Nicely.
2- He's latino, possibly PR.
3- He loves baseball, particularly the Yankess. This is so old school. I think it's so quaint for a young hot guy to be crazy about America's past time. No slave to fashion here.
4- He wears a thick silver chain with a cross around his neck and pulls it off nicely (like he does most things, guess that's why they call him Nicely). I don't have to tell most of you how much of a sucker I am for a man with a thick chain.
5- I'm 95% certain he is acutually from NY.
6- His taste in music is impeccable, which is to say it overlaps with mine. One day old school "Outcast", the next latin jazz.
7- Nicely makes great espresso.
8- Nicely has a great smile. I find this charming yet unnerving. What's he got to smile about? What does anyone have to fucking smile about?

I wish the line would go down so I could get another americano.

Happy 30th Birthday Josh!

Josh-
Man among men.
Wise beyond his years.
A Leader.
Loved.
Feared.
Hanging from what we were hoping was a load bearing beam in his new birthday climbing shoes.
The severity of the overhang, the stylish crossover heelhook, combined with the uncertainty in regards to structural soundness make this a move worthy of an 11b gear leader.
Though today, Josh finally, mercifully turns thirty, we preemptively celebrated on Thursay evening.
Me, Sue, Joan, Steve, Kumi, Sheila, and Annie SURPRISED (sort of) Josh as he was brought over to Sue's on the pretense of Craig's List stuff on the way to Pho.
We did not have Pho. I somehow accidentally tricked Sue's next door neighbor Jeff into cooking the chops while I drank champagne. Sweet. Had to trade him some garlic mashers, though. Small price.
Then we had CAKE- the best part of any birthday. Joan made it, of course. Chocolate, chocolate, with a raspberry middle. I was in physical pain I was so stuffed.
School night so everyone left by 9:30. We're all old folk now, after all.

I'm tired.

1- I was so miserably full from Josh's surprise BBQ that I couldn't even fall asleep for at least 30 minutes even though I almost drank a whole bottle of Mumm Blanc Noirs by myself!

2-Then I was awakened (awokened, is that a word?) by some strange noises. It sounded like car windows breaking, so I grabbed my .22 and did a patrol loop around the main part of the trailer park. Didn't check out the 'A' loop of the park, fuck those guys, they're on their own. Didn't see anything. Must have been trouble over at the Shell station across the street.

3-Had to get up at 5! to go get my chimerism run going. Then I remember Starbucks doesn't open till 5:30 so I hit the snooze three times. (I had to go to Starbucks, btw, cos I didn't wash my mug for three weeks and now it's unusable. I tried bleaching it but it's ruined. Makes my espresso taste like moldy bleach. Got another mug this morning and it is way cool.)

4-BTW, most people up at 5:30 in the morning are the ones who haven't gone to bed yet. Freaks. I had to dodge several on the stairs up to Starbucks. I can't stress enough, just don't make eye contact and move on. That's the key.

5-I almost unlinked 'Jesus Christ Cool Blog' cos it was getting lame (I sympathize but I have to cut dead weight) but todays post took him off the chopping block.
Ninja, please!

Not Ready to Make Nice

So I'm into the "Dixie Chicks" lately.
Common hatred=bonding.
I respect people who can hold a grudge.
It's one of my most beloved character flaws.

The video for that song, however, is ridiculous. Whatever they paid the director was ten times too much. White dresses and black ink. How long did it take him/her to come up with that?
How about showing a likeness of W getting blunt force trauma to the head over and over?! It only took me a couple of seconds to come up with that great idea. Imagine if I had a couple of days and some money.

This is Dr. Price.

She's my doctor and she's really cool.
I had my yearly exam yesterday.
She said there's nothing wrong with me.
She looked me all over and asked me a bunch of questions and then said I was perfectly healthy and to keep up the good work.
And then I pointed out that I was fat and didn't she think that was odd since I'm pretty active and she just said that maybe I should pay better attention to what I eat. But I didn't let it drop and I said that, no, I really do alot of exercise and I'm still really fat but she just went back to the nutrition thing.
Usually I like her alot but I think she is being a bit cavalier with my health here. I mean I have a lot of issues and health time bombs waiting to go off and she just didn't see any of them. Maybe she's distracted. Maybe I should have asked her some questions, like if there's some personal issues I should know about that could be affecting her judgement.
TMI alert!
I mean, she didn't even give me a pap smear or a cholesterol test even though mine was high last year.

Also, she has a perm and I really like her hair straight better but I didn't say anything.

She's gonna feel bad after my heart attack. But it serves her right.

I wanna new laptop!

$1300!
Why are macs so fucking expensive!
Oh, probably cos they always work.
I neeeeeeeed it, though. My clamshell just isn't keeping up these days.
I mean I can't watch TV OR Youtube.
If I got this I could start stealing movies and tv shows and burn them and watch CSI and Ultimate Fighter over and over to my heart's content.

Well. It's not happenin' cos I ain't got that kind of dough.
I just took my fucking bike in for a tuneup and they want $300 for that!
WTF!?
It's all about money money money.

I was thing maybe if I dressed all in black like the people at the MAC store I could just stroll in there like I knew what I was doing and pick up one of the demos and stroll out.

Dare me?

No love.

I'm currently experiencing a wane in popularity.
I'm not worried. These things come in waves.
It's probably cos I'm fat.

But people are hurling criticism my way with reckless abandon.
Olga started it off with the 'unbalanced' remark.
Steve called me fat and lazy.
Josh didn't eat my Mac & Cheese (Olga liked it so up yours!)
And yesterday, Shelly implied that I'm a bullshitter!
This last one really stung. I can take some constructive criticism but it's got to be accurate. Radical Authenticity is my motto. I always endeavor to be as veracious as possible. Now, I'll admit sometimes I mistake a lack of imagination for an insight into necessity. Clearly (as Shelly would say) I have no vision. This is no character flaw, however. It's congenital and I can't be called on it.

That's ok. Keep it coming.
I know I'm awsome!