FYI-

I'm going to have to work hard today and I'm not psyched about it. Someone called in fake-sick and I have to help cover. I'm not bitter or anything but today is not going to be fun. No blogging or froggling or finding stuff on ebay or going to the gym (which I especially need to do cos I'm fucking FAT!) It's going to begin any minute. Just me and Chuck and Aida.
I might have to be here more than eight hours.... gasp!

I'm kind of shocked that I even woke up this moringing, though. I really thought the world was ending when Steve agreed to skip climbing to come over to eat, he was nearly on time, AND he had product in his hair.
And yet, here I sit, in my dirty knickers, inappropriate tshirt, and bright green shoes ready to advance knowledge, save lives, and bitch nonstop about it.

Dana, WTF have you been doing?

CSI marathon.
Eating cookie dough and watching CSI.
I'm intensely interested in Sarah and Grissom's relationship. I've only seen a few episodes of season 7 and I can't figure out what is going on with these two.
Are they fucking? When did it start? Who knows about it?
(If anyone is thinking about making some smartass comment like, "Get a life, loser!", let me preemptively tell you to go fuck yourself!)

Fortunately, I just found out about a website that's all about this very subject!
Someone who's an even bigger loser than me has actually taken the time to document the whole thing for dorks like me!
I'll let you know what I find out! (After I cook my stupid friends chicken, that is. My social life interferring with Tivo, again.)

New Sheriff

I was pretty bummed that Chuck lost the light heavyweight title this Saturday. He's cool, classy, and a badass. I like that combo.
But, to have a funny, trash talking, ripped black man take his place eases the sting a bit.
Rampage kept his promise to "whip Chuck's ass", knocking him cold at 1:43 of the very first round.
The cool thing about Quinton is that he will knock people out or slam their ass to the mat depending on what the situation calls for. And he wears a fatass chain around his neck at all times! Fatass chain trumps mohawk, IMHO.

Don't sugar coat it!

Olga called me 'unbalanced' today.
Bitch.
Boom. No warning. Unbalanced.
Housesitting (especially across the pond) does tend to take me off my game a bit, but unbalanced!?
I only had one rant this morning. It wasn't even a passionate, foamy mouth rant. Just a plain ole "Fuck, I hate people" rant.
I go from 0 to unbalanced in an hour with ONE rant.
Jeez.
She cited my lack of blogging and asked me if I was depressed.
What in the world could I have to be depressed about?!
Then she told me I smelled!

I haven't been blogging, BTW, cos I'm mutherfucking lazy. That's all there is to that. All I would have to say is that I ordered takeout and watched TV and went to bed a t 9.... every night! I guess I could also point out that Steve got a less than stellar haircut, but that would hurt his feelings. (Product, product, product.)

But all that is ending tonight cos I'm dropping off the dogs at their new digs and going to the gym! Probably. Hopefully. Maybe not.

I am soooooo glad I don't have a tv. I seriously would be a worthless P.O.S. I would go to work. Come home. Eat subway or something. And watch tv. Repeat. I wouldn't answer my phone or check my email for fear some tard would be requesting my company. Now, at least, I have to occupy my time until things are released on dvd.

Oh, and I smell cos everything I own is covered in dog hair.

Summary of Sunday and Monday

[crickets]


[more crickets]

Actually, I did watch a few basketball games.
I finally left the house around noon on Monday to fetch a sandwich from Dixie's BBQ. I got the Dixie's special. They changed the links and they are not as good. Stick to the brisket, FYI.

I have had a three day headache. Not the sick in bed, nausea, light sensitive kind. More of the annoyed, bitter, self-pitying, can't be bothered to do anything variety.

I'm steadily popping threesomes of 2/2/2's. Recovered enough last night to honor my standing appointment to climb with Steve last night. We both underachieved, to put it politely.

I came to work today but I gots nothing to do so I may just leave.

I think I keep perpetuating the situation by sitting in the chair right in front of the TV. It's a massage chair. So you would think it would be comfortable. You would be wrong. I'm going to steal Ruby's papasan tonight to watch (hopefully) the Pistons close out Chicago.

Rafting.

I went white water rafting Saturday.
It was big fun.
It's like going on the flume ride about eight times.
Does anyone remember the Jungle Ride at Disney- with the wisecraking guides and the waterfall and the surprise hippo and the headhunters?
Well, it's like that except no Mickey.
There were lots of people I didn't know so I was somewhat subdued.
The guide was kind of an authority figure and I respond to that.
Some guy fell in the water on the last rapid and that was a relief cos I just think it would have been anticlimatic if everything went perfectly. But I'm glad it wasn't me cos I think it's sort of looked down upon if you fall out- like you're weak or an idiot or something.
I didn't take any pictures. You basically have to have the perfect body to look good in a wet suit. Especially these wetsuits. They had seen better days... tattered and faded. So everyone looked like a gomer and I didn't want to document that. I should have just taken a picture of my calves. They looked good.

And then we went to Cold Stone creamery!!!! I got a Birthday Cake Remix!
Good times.

Just ballin'

"Wallace is a riddle wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a headband."

Went home (and when I say home, I mean Spring's home where I'm housesitting) and ordered myself a Pagliacci pizza and salad, put my feet up and watched the Pistons school the Bulls.

Used to watch Rasheed when he was at Portland and when he went to Detroit, I followed. He likes to talk shit and he's good at it. He can also back that shit up.

To Kwame Brown: "Don't worry young fella, I get paid for this. I get paid for doing this to you"

After opponent misses a free throw: "Ball don't lie!" (Sheed never fouls.)

My hate for Chicago is equally arbitrary. But I still loved seeing Prince sucker Loul, and Chauncy drain his three's over Ben Gordon. SUCKERS! Thought you had it!

Spring and Olga are leaving at a good time. I should be able to see most of the games.
Man, when NBA finals end there is gonna be nothing. Nothing for like, 3 months. Gonna be tough. Maybe not, someone is always making news.

Fucking Ricky William is almost as stupid as Maurice Clarrett. Get it together man!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Right before I go over to Sue's to watch "America's Next Top Model" last night, I stopped at QFC to get some supplies. While I'm there, I pick up a $25 iTunes card so I can get some songs I can't steal. I get right back in my truck, head over to Sue's, have dinner with her and Annie, watch "ANTM" and "Criminal Minds", leave and go straight home, and now I can't find the fucking card. I started looking right when I got home. Looked this morning, this afternoon, called Sue to see if I left it at her house, nothing. I know it's only $25 but it bugs me. It's frustrating.
THEN, I manage to get up early (right on time for a change) get to the gym at the exact time I need to to finish my cardio and resistance and get to work. Just as I walk in the door of 24 hr fitness, I realize I left my espresso maker on (or I think I left my espresso maker on.) Now two things are bugging me.
My trailer is burning down and I can't find that fucking card. I try to just work out and forget about it, but 30 mins into the stairs and I'm still stressing.

So, I have to leave the gym to drive home and see that the coffee maker is indeed not on. Look for that fucking card again (no luck) and go back to work.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Now, I'm out $25, I lost my good parking spot, and I have to go back to the gym tonight.
Goddamnit.

Movie Review: Breach

Met Marianne and Steve at the Crest last night(almost late, always running behind these days.) Didn't even know this movie was out yet. Which is strange cos I love Chris Cooper. C.C. is on my short list of men I would have sex with. He's not even traditionally good looking but... I don't know. He's just sexy. I fell in love with him in "Lone Star". Could be cos he looks sort of white trash. Also like that pouty, sad/wistful look he seems to have perfected.
So, in short, I can't really give an unbiased review. I thought "Breach" was great. Ok, it wasn't great but worth $3 for sure. Marianne made the observation that Ryan Phillipe looked amateurish next to C.C. and I tend to concur.
Is Dennis Haystert in everyfuckingthing these days? Not that I'm complaining, I'm just saying. Brother is making his money.

I was really hungry when I got there cos I was running too late to eat dinner. Had to settle for a box of raisenettes and stealing Steve's popcorn.

I may die.

I bought a salad yesterday with spinach, blue cheese, pecans, and steak.
I was going to have it for lunch. But I found my leftover ginger chicken that Marianne made and had that for lunch instead. (It was only four days old, look at me living on the edge!)
So this salad sat out all day yesterday. Rotting meat. But I ate it anyway. It just looked so good.
If I don't post for a few days, call Virgina Mason to see if I'm there.
Naturally, I'm counting on my superior genetic resistance to disease to get me through this, but even I have my limits.
Botulism has no friends.

I'm not keen on returning to ashes anytime soon, but dying due to a food related incident would be especially heinous. And embarrassing.
Mama Cass. Ham sandwich. Dana. Steak salad.
(Actually, Mama Cass did not die of asphyxiation due to choking. She died of a heart attack. There was an untouched ham sandwich beside her though.)


What am I doing putting steak on a salad anyway?
Dumbass.

My Favorite Things- May

1- My new Mammut Laser jacket that I got at the PCF sale. Been wanting this for a while and I love it, love it, love it! Can't wait to go stand somewhere windy and cold!

2- Favorite Workout Songs
Cardio:
1 Face the Pain- Stemm
2 Get Free- The Vines
3 Ride- The Vines
4 Temperature- Sean Paul
5 Throw Some D's- Rich Boy
6 Breathe- The Prodigy
7 Grillz- Nelly
8 Right Thurr- Chingy
9 Down with the Sickness- Disturbed
10 You Can Do It- Ice Cube

Resistance:
1 All I Need- Air
2 Love Comes Again- BT
3 Dreaming- Tiesto
4 What Goes Around- Justin Timberlake
5 Wanna Get to Know You- G Unit
6 Diamond in the Back- Ludacris
7 And I Miss You- Sade
8 Such Great Heights- Postal Service
9 Back Then- Mike Jones
10 Why You Wanna- T.I.


3- Favorite Blog

4- Favorite to win the NBA finals- Cleveland. I'm jumping on the Lebron bandwagon. Don't be surprised to see me bumping his playoff hightops; they're so pimp. Of course, Detroit is actually going to win. Fucking Suns are tanking to the Spurs again! That's ok.

5- Favorite wine: Fat Bastard Blush! It's almost summer!

Sopranos spoiler alert!

Sue was housesitting a fancy waterfront house on Vashon this weekend.
Shelly and I went over to hang and get drunk Sunday afternoon.
We sat outside in the garden and downed two bottles of wine, burgers, and chips and salsa before we had to pack up and head back.
We took turns throwing balls and frisbee for Tellie. She never seemed to wear down.

Got back to Shelly's just in time to meet Joan (who arrived with professionally decorated cup cakes (and when I say professional I mean her.))
Watched four episodes of "The Sopranos" Season 7. I haven't seen Season 6 so I was a little lost. Almost every character had gained alot of weight. Freaking Janice (Aida Turtorro) was HUGE. She trying to match her husband?! I can't believe none of these people have had heart attacks. Timebombs, all of them. Tony's new gambling problem seems a little forced. Chris is still alive?! The therapy sessions seemed like opportunities to get up and refill wine (boring!) As far as I'm concerned, "The Sopranos" ended after Season 4. But I'll keep watching cos what the hell else do I have to do!?

Sunday- Part 4

Ahh, back to Sundays at Vivace.

Mister Nicely isn't here. He had back surgery, I heard.
Oh well, all the Vivace baristas are very competent. Just not as cute. Mr. Smiley also has perfect taste in music. And he gives me free americanos occasionally. Get well Mr. Nicely!

Haven't done much this weekend and it's great.
Cleaned up the airstream a bit.
Downloaded some music.
Napped.

Finally met Tellie, Josh and Shelly's blue heeler. Cute, cute, cute.
Cute also is how nervous Shelly is about being a good human dog owner.
Will be fun to tease her about it in a few months.
Shelly has never had a dog before and Tellie has never had a Shelly before so they are getting used to each other.
I think she'll be the perfect dog for them. Athletic and affectionate w/o being needy. Good in the car also.

We went over to Spring's bieifly to introduce Tellie to Emerald and Ruby.
Emerald established dominance in about..... 2 seconds.
Ruby anxiously awaited ball throwing session that never happened and Emerald and Tellie chased each other.
Shelly and I ate dumplings made by Spring's mom. Bonus!

Then rearranged my playlists and went to bed at 9:30. I could turn 80 tomorrow and I wouldn't have to change my schedule.

Got me some culture!

Went to see Thomas Stoppard's "Arcadia" last night. Tough to follow at times but interesting. Very pleasant experience all around.
Of course, there was the obligatory clueless asshat making noise, listening to his ipod, and even using his laptop at one point! WTF?! Why was he there?!

Before the play, Marianne made an amazing dinner (ginger chicken, rice, salad with goat cheese/fig/crackers appetizers) for Steve, Bruce and I.
Then after we had brownies and ice cream and coffee. Too bad it was a school night and we had to wrap it up around 11:30.

I was so close to being late it wasn't funny. Somehow lost an hour somewhere. Ran back from the gym, showered, ran to the truck, got wine, and made it to Marianne's in 30 minutes (that's effieciency, folks!) But, truth be told, if the bridge had still been closed, I would have been hosed!
A parking enforcement officer was stalking Bruce's car. His ticket expired at 5:58 and she was standing there waiting to cite him. So he waltzes down at 5:57 and deposits a dime. Fucking bitch. Way to stick it to the man, Bruce.

I'm still tired.

Maybe I have leukemia.
Or that tired disease. Whatsit called? Chronic fatigue syndrome.
I just need a whole rainy day to lay around and watch movies. Maybe this weekend. Can't wait till I start housesitting and have a reason to do nothing. Of course, then I'll be jealous of all the stuff I'll miss. Or at least I'll pretend to be jealous to hide the fact that I'm a lazy P.O.S.

I just went and ate so I could put off going to the gym for another three hours.
Have to swim today. I hate swimming. Really loved to swim when I was a kid. Used to get super excited at the mere mention of a pool. But now I hate it. Now I know I'm swimming in a cesspool of human waste not-so-cleverly disguised by copious amounts of bleach. And often there are other people there, which I hate. It would be different if they wanted to play sharks and minnows. But they don't. They want to swim in my lane and make a big wake that splashes contaminated water in my mouth.
Maybe I'll run instead. I have three hours to think about it.


This might make the prospect more appealing.

Movie Review: Microcosmos

"Night gives way once more. Nothing will stop what's now in motion, what hides in shadow, what surges forward, what flutters to towards the light. Here, where time is measured out in moments, and new lives emerge from darkness, the day begins like any other. Beyond anything we could imagine, and yet almost beneath our notice."

This was released in 1996 and I'm just now getting around to watching it. Would have been nice to see it on the big screen. But it's basically Discovery Channel stuff. Good for pausing and switching laundry loads. I think I waited so long cos I basically don't like bugs. I sent many prayers to the powers that be when I was a kid that I would become a boy and that all bugs would disappear from the planet. I was more than a little disappointed when I learned in science class that neither was likely to happen.

Anyway, it made me itchy, even after I changed the sheets (many scenes of ants doing crazy ant things.) But the snails grinding it out to opera really makes the whole thing worth watching.

I doesn't take alot...

...to get me off schedule.
Between the conference and climbing at Vantage on Sunday, I've been all fucked up.
Whenever I get alot done in a short period of time, I just find it incredibly exhausting.

-I did learn quite a bit at the conference. The most important fact was the location of Thai Pham. Really good, really cheap Thai place downtown off 1st and Columbia. I've been hearing about it for years but never knew its exact spot. Not as good as Thai Tom but good enough. I also learned how to make sequence specific primers. [crickets]

-Fun Happy Hour with Sue and Shelly on Friday. (Note to Self: Do more happy hours.)
Shelly is getting a dog. Sue is going to make millions managing real estate.

-Good day at Vantage on Sunday. Started slow. But everyone (except me) got multiple leads in. I was busy being a cowardly action photographer. FYI: Catbirdseat was there trying to kill his belayers with rockfall.


Sue bounding up Clip 'em or Skip 'em. (She did actually skip one!)


(Swedes sticking together.) Steve releads Air Guitar very smoothly.


"I'm too sexy for this corner." Josh Badassmofo leads Stems & Seeds.