BTW

The accident waiting to happen known as my next door neighbor has finally moved.
She packed herself up and took off.

I no longer have to lay awake windy nights waiting for her camper top to fall and crush my propane tank and burn me alive.

Now, I just have to lay awake windy nights worrying about trees falling through my trailer and smashing my head.

Or cars spinning out of control on Lake City Way and barrelling over the embankment onto my trailer and smashing my head.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.....

Starting off Right

I didn't have any blackeyed peas and cornbread on New Year's Day so I'm kind of asking for it.
Hopefully, pizza and Patron are acceptable substitutes cos that's what we had.

Steve, Sue, Josh, and I spent the day at Steven's. Shelly sadly had a headache and couldn't join us (she's really banking on Chinese New Year to change her mojo anyway, but she was missed.)

It wasn't a bluebell day but it was mostly clear and crisp. Not too many people.

Josh has been telemarking exactly two days and is already faster than me. I really hate him sometimes.
And now that Spanky has his new board, he's beating me back to the lift most of the time, too. I'm running out of excuses for why it takes me so long.
1- Some rookie cut me off.
2- Had to stop to tighten my bindings.
3- Got lost.
4- Got a phone call.
5- Dropped my flask.

If anyone has any ideas, send me a PM.

At least, when Josh telemarks, he gets tired faster. He and Sue were gonna head back at 4 and me and the Spankster were going to try to go bell to bell. Nine to Ten. Imagine our surprise when they stuck a CLOSED sign on Skyline at exactly 4:01! Fucking Hell, you're kidding me. It's a goddamn holiday!




So that was a wrap for all of us. Sue leads the way so far with six days in the snow so far. Steve and I are right behind with five a piece.

The one week countdown to Whistler begins NOW!

Is it fucking 2008 already!?

Surest sign that your getting old when time flys by like this.

Sue had Josh, Shelly, and I over for New Year's Eve.
Couldn't go too crazy, though, cos we were going to Steven's Pass for New Year's Day.
Resolved to celebrate at 12:00 Eastern Standard time. (Yet another sign of progressing age!)
But we got carried away playing Apples to Apples, eating sweets, and drinking cheap champagne.
Rescheduled to Central Standard time.
Almost made it to Mountain Standard time but the 6 a.m. wake up call started looming large. I still had to charge my shuffle and funnel Patron into a water bottle!


Almost made it out unscathed. What's this kissing tradition anyway!?

New Years Resolution:
Don't tell anyone else about my aversion to physical intimacy. It just makes them more determined.

Some Thugs at the Pass

Off the plane and headed to the slopes, like any jetsetting hipsters these days.
Arrived at Steven's at exactly 3:01 to make some ruckus under the lights.
It freaking snowed all night and kept filling in the tracks.
Blowing like crazy, especially up on Tye Mill- the chair lift would really go sideways at the top. This, strangely, made Spanky giddy. It just made me more of a menace getting off the lift- I stopped even trying not to fall eventually, just launched and splat.

Made a few runs then took a brief respite to fortify ourselves with Don Julio.





This left me feeling a little cocky, as usual, so I immediately went blazing down Brooks face first into a hole. Steve went right past me w/o even looking my way.
Tested to see if I could move my legs first, fearing the worst. Check. Not paralyzed this time.
Then wiped a drop of blood from under my nose and a tear from my eyes and carried on.
Came into the chairlift whining loudly to make Spanky feel like shit for leaving me there to die!

Slowed me down a bit. But didn't quite convince me that drinking and snowboarding don't mix cos we headed back in for dinner and more Don Julio. Split a Tye Mill burger to help absorb the alcohol.
Bartender announced that they were closing westbound Hwy 2 for avalanche control so we might want to leave or get stuck.
FUCK THAT BULLSHIT! We're closing this bitch down. That's how we roll.

My Man!

When I picked Steve and Bruce up from the airport coming home from Mexico, I tried to embarrass them by showing up with my bling and a grill made from a Hershey's Almond Kiss wrapper (it even had tiny almonds on it!)

Steve got me back Saturday. But he one-upped me by having a real grill with diamonds! And a brand new OR jacket (after mugging Sue for a her prized 40% off coupon.)
Sweet! Totally pimp! I'm sure more than a few people wondered if Eminem was picking his bitch up from SeaTac. Except the Jeep, for all its virtues, is no Escalade. And I ain't no hoochie.

And another thing, goddamnit!

I don't know if you got a brain or not.
If you have a plan or not.
I'm trippin, this drink got me sayin a lot.
But I know that you here in front of me.
How in the hell could you front on me?
There's a thousand yous there's only one of me.
I'm trippin, I'm caught up in the moment, right?

More fun with photobooth...

I don't think I've mentioned lately how much I love my Macbook.
I love you Macbook.

My nephew Corey will mug for a camera at the drop of a hat.
He knows he's pretty.
His teeth are perfectly straight but he swears he needs braces.
Striving for perfection. Getting prepared for that career in Hollywood.
Hope he remembers his old eccentric Auntie Dana when he's rich and famous.
Seems like just a few years ago that he was wiggling around on a blanket in the middle of the floor... drooling and pooping in his diaper.
Now he's a teenager.

Speaking of teenagers....


Freaking Matthew is SEVENTEEN!
He's a grown ass man almost! Good looking kid with his own opinions and peculiarities and stuff.
He's taken to wearing slippers everywhere. "They're comfortable", he says.
He tried to convince us that there really are inbred Deliverance style communities that set up traps for normal people and kill them and eat them.
I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday, kid.
Nice try.