Pimp my Ride- Part 2 or I got the Magic Stick

And I'll show you magic.
What? What?
Magic

I have you up early in the mornin, moanin
Get the position down pat, then it's time to switch
Tonight's the night, you can fall in love
You can call your mama right now, tell her you met a thug
I pop a lot of shit cause I can back it up
My left stroke's the death stroke
HAVE THAT ASS TRICKIN AFTER ONE BACK SHOT!

Sunday- Part 3

Hey guess where I am.
I just realized I've been using alot of CAPS lately. But, you know, alot has been going on. Explosions get CAPS. The Natural throwing down gets CAPS.
Well, I got no more caps. This is not a caps weekend for dana. Sue, Shelly, and I did have fun at the outlet mall yesterday. I got some jeans, a cool shirt I could stick my nano in.... if I had a nano, and a surprise to be revealed later in photodocumentation. And then we watched half of Brazil. And then I basically went home and went to bed. lame. Oh, I did watch "Vernon, FL" again. What can I say? I was feeling sentimental. (It's an Erroll Morris documentary about inbreed white trash in the FL panhandle.) My people.

Now I'm going to the gym. After which I will probably go eat. After which I will probably take a 16 hour nap.
Hey it can't be all ghetto fabulous all the time.

I also need to figure out a way to pay penance to the snow gods so they will once again look kindly on me a drop some snow on the passess. Snow level 7500'! Yikes. It can't be over yet. I haven't been able to show off my new look. You'll see.

HE DiD IT!

Thank you thank you thank you, Randy!
I have been waiting in vain so long for someone to get rid of that dumbass pro-war Jesus freak Tim Sylvia. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of him, but at least I don't have to see that goofball walk around with his belt all the time. Besides, I love love love Randy. Who doen't and why not? Classy guy... with killer abs. And he kicks ass. Literally. Held him down like a bitch and pummeled him. Randy style, yeeeaahh. What a pimp! Let's see those abs again. And give me a badass cage look.

FIRE! FIRE!

Well, I took the exploding trailer as a sign to err on the side of caution and decided not to go boarding today. Just came to work. The news crews were there till eleven last night. WTF? Six hours to cover an exploding fifth wheel.
I've now told the whole story about a dozen times. Really trying to resist embellishment. Which is actually easy since it was pretty spectacular on it's own.

I'm pretty much starting over on the OCD tract. Turned off everything. Hot water, heater, unplugged my sonicare. Hopefully, I will make a quick recovery. The tap cold water will freeze your hands. It's at least comforting that someone just fucked up. Note to self: Don't hire some gomer to fix stuff.

SEE!

I'm not paranoid! It can happen. Leave your trailer (or not) and KABOOM! it can just explode and be gone!
I heard the whole thing. Apparently, the lady in trailer #1 (the one with the hottub) hired some plumber (of questionable talents) who cut a gas line in her trailer. One would think at this point he or she would rush outside to turn of the 100 gallon propane tank. No. He went out to get a part to fix it. The pilot on the stove ignited and blew her out of the trailer. She survived! It sounded like a small car had landed on top of my trailer and I'm at least 50 feet away. That thing went up like a match. You won't see me in the video footage cos I'm running down Lake City Way screaming, "TURN AROUND AND RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" The flames were at least 40 feet high and swirling. Did I mention the 100 gallon gas tank attached to the goddamn trailer? Can't believe that didn't blow. Oh, the hottub is fine too.

So when the flames were brought under control by the five firetrucks, I came back to the park and gaped with the rest of the residents. Very disturbing the high percentage of my neighbors who are missing teeth. One, who I have never seen, sidles up to me and exclaims, "That scared the pooh out of me! I was just about to light up a joint and that thing goes off!" Oh boy. All illusions gone. It's not just a joke anymore... I am trailer trash.

Two helicopters, four photographers, one news van, and a bunch of firehoses blocked the exit to the trailer park. Had to rush to meet Steve at VW at 7. Except I didn't meet Steve at VW. He called at 6:55 saying he hadn't left yet. Motherfucker. Spanky is soooooo lucky he's sick and it's almost his birthday. Cos I still know where he lives. AND I HAVE A KEY!

Worker bee- Part 2

Ok. I'm really busy today. The dreaded survey is here. This is like the field goal that wins or loses the game. One shot. Except it takes all damn day. Plus, I have to do all of tomorrow's work today so Sue and I can go to Mission Ridge tomorrow. Phew.
Got here at 7 and making good progress. Fuck ASHI for sending it today though cos, of coarse, MR got 9 inches of dry powder TODAY. Fucking hell.
The long and short of it is.... probably pretty quiet on the blog today. So get those lists going, you maggots.

Just a reminder.

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE!
Pull your head out of your ass, for god's sake!
No, I am absolutely fucking not planning everyfuckingthing around you so you don't have to be inconvienienced. If you would stop all that goddamn bellyaching for a fucking change something might actually go your way. Stupid stupid stupid people.
Six billion of us. I'm supposed to account for your sorry ass. Wake up and get the fuck out of my way.... dumbass!
(Note for all you sensitive motherfuckers, if you are reading this, I'm probably not talking about you.)